So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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