I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
