Can Purell be used as lube?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
