stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
