Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
