His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We had sex on a dog bed..
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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