dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize