I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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