i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
