I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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