I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
