at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize