Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he thought i was a dude.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
