there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
