Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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