Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
