You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
