I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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