you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My dick has a subreddit
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
