Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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