Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
