She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
