Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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