LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
