SEEEEXXX PLEASE
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
