I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
