I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
