Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
