I looked at my own cervix.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He? As in you personified your dick?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
