You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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