I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.