my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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