You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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