non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
