I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
