Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
