i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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