im drinking this country out of the recession.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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