My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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