Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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