now i know why i became what i already was.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
