He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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