So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
