Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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