so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
