At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
