i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
