Whod you bang
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
