I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
