Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
