Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
