I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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