youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
