so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
