My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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