On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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