He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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