he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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