marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
