I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
