sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I will die if light touches me.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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