ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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