Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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