So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
