How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
